Tuesday, May 29, 2012

I should be

I've got a case of the I should be's today. I think like this often, more than I'd like to admit.
I'm admitting it today.

I should be celebrating my one year old's birthday this week.

I should be sitting here with my five month old.

I should be 36 weeks 2 days along, with a c section scheduled June 18th.

It brings me to tears often for all that has been lost. It brings me to embrace what I have been given.
It makes me remind myself God had a plan for me.
No symptoms this week. Will test this weekend and if not pregnant going to have a big talk with my nurse about being more aggressive.

God has a plan. I try and live in the moment, but I am always aware of what should be.... 


  1. I think it is very natural! I admire your strength & courage very much. Wishing you the best!!

  2. What should of been haunts all of us who have suffered pregnancy loss or the death of a child. It's enough to drive any normal person insane.

  3. the "I should be's" I are hard for me too....I try to spend lots of time with my boys at times like these, they have helped me through a lot of very hard moments!
    Thinking of you
    hugs xx

  4. ((hugs))

    Those "should be's" are terrible. I admire your faith because that is what I struggle with the most.