Sunday, October 28, 2012

We...are never ever ever

Getting back together......

Me and my opks, that is.

I can't trust them! Lets back track to last week.  Fertile CM, low temps, ovary twinges...but never a positive opk. Since I am self pay, and each visit to the clinic costs big bucks, we usually wait until I see lh line darkening on my sticks. I then go in for ultrasound, we trigger and IUI. My cycles are so wacko this is usually the best method since I normally don't ovulate until day 374 of my cycle.

I got antsy and went in anyways on Friday since it was cd 20 and nothing. Ultrasound didn't show any big follicles and she said my lining looks like it was "funky" as she so kindly put it. Funky as in what it should look like right after ovulation or with PCOS...which I also have.

Cue to this morning when I had my second day of high temps. I then went again, per my dr to see what was really going on. I had perfect striped lining at 17 and my bloodwork came back that I did, indeed ovulate.

So, just goes to show you can't plan everything...and we just might be like regular couples that "oops just happened to get pregnant" without running to the bedroom...pee stick and charts in hand. 

I'll fall over if it actually happens.  

In the meantime, I'm shockingly in the "two week wait" and officially broken up with my opks. 

Monday, October 22, 2012

Video Challange

I've done myself in this time...

While after having a couple drinks on my anniversary, I had on my brave big girl pants and partially signed up for Stupid Stork's video challenge.

She is holding me to it. Holding me to go outside my comfort zone and answer some questions on video. Notice I said some (my Mother and Aunts are wonderful enough to read this blog and so I can't answer all)

I don't like being on video, actually I'd rather be in the stirrups for another HSG than have someone tape me....but here it goes, I do actually make an appearance!

So again, if you haven't visited Stupid Stork yet, I suggest you click that little link above and pay her a visit. She's hysterical and makes me laugh often about how horrible IF can be. Sometimes that is worth more than gold...
In the end I'm glad I took the challenge. It only took three re-do from laughing and one from crying...Not bad!

Blessings to all...

Friday, October 12, 2012

"C" ing Is Believing

My Weekend...brought to you by the letter C...

is for CYST

The cyst is gone! Hip Hip Hooray! We've been monitoring it this week to see if it left with my period. It was smaller Tuesday but still almost 25mm.  Even though it wasn't producing Estrogen and was inactive I was still leery about starting meds with a cyst. But now I don't even have to worry because that nasty little thing shrank even more.

is for CLOMID

Starting the Clomid today. 100 mg for 7 days instead of five. This time is SO much different. I am not worrying about every little thing. The wait to start this again was nice. I even thought about pushing back my treatments. Lets not kid ourselves, I'm not getting any younger and the stork doesn't just drop a bundle at your doorstep when you want it so I decided to go for it...and if I'm surprised with a pregnancy and actual baby at the end of it then it will be a true miracle! Now, come on Clomid, show me some love!

is for CINCO

Five year anniversary is tomorrow! I can't believe fast it has gone! The laughter has outweighed our tears...the blessing has outweighed our grief....and one thing is for sure - we are much stronger individually and as a unit as we were five years ago. Cheers to the next five bringing even more joy to our lives.

Saturday, October 6, 2012

Infertility Even Affects....

Infertility affects so many aspects of life.

Even your teeth.

At least mine.

Since my first miscarriage almost two years ago, I have begun clenching my jaw while sleeping and grinding my teeth. The anxiety, worry, stress coming forward even when I'm sleeping. I never had that problem before, but now when I wake I can feel my jaw is sore, that my teeth hurt because of the constant clenching.

It all came to a head this week. Monday I started having some tooth and gum pain, I took some tylenol and ignored it. I was at work Thursday and started having the worst "I want to jump out the window or someone shoot me now" pain. The kind of pain the is crippling and had me at my knees writhing and crying out for two days straight. I practically ran in and sat on the dentist's lap waiting for the novicane so I could have relief for an hour. That didn't even work. The major painkillers didn't even put a dent in it. 

Since that tooth already has a root canal on it, the dentist said it is probably fractured from all the tension and grinding, causing an infection and absess. The antibiotics have relieved enough of the pain that I can at least see straight now but the tooth has to come out. The absess may clear but chances are it will come back....and Lord I can't even imagine what would happen if I had this while pregnant. I cannot imagine it.

So since I am clearly not pregnant and awaiting my period still I am going today to get this sucker taken out. My face is all swollen already and I look like I got ran over by a bus from being in agony since Thursday.

Thank you again, infertility....for all the wreckage you have created in my life and in the lives of so many others. You suck.