Thursday, March 1, 2012

Just Try Not To Think About It

Over the past three years I've had quite a number of people tell me, "just try not to think about it and it will happen"....or "don't let it take over your life". This isn't as easy as it seems, especially since the second I open my eyes the reality of the situation hits me. The first thing I have to do every morning is stick my hand out from under my blankets, grab the thermometer and take my temperature. This is before I even utter a word, move, or open my mouth...and within the same fifteen minute time frame each morning.
After that its off to the bathroom to empty the contents of my bladder onto a stick where I then plug it into a machine to tell me where I'm at in terms of ovulation. I better make sure I didn't drink too much water the night before because that means lying there hoping my bladder doesn't implode while I wait for the 15 minute window to arrive.
Next is off to my laptop where I enter my temps and chart my BBT's before I forget them. Last on my morning list is heading over to my old lady pill box where I start taking my meds for the day...they have to be taken with breakfast or I'll be sick to my stomach all morning.
And these are only the things I do before 7 a.m.
Every single day.
Kind of hard not to think about all of this when this is how I get up every morning. Of course I'm used to the routine by now, but I will never "not think about it". People struggling with infertility or miscarriages have to think about it...because they have to be our own advocates. In our cases that little stork just doesn't drop that baby wrapped in a blanket off at our doorstep. We're not talking about getting a new shirt at the mall or changing the oil in my car...we're talking about having a baby and adding to our family. So I'm not going to "relax" or "not think about it" as many people oh so kindly suggest.
I wish I didn't have to but I think about it all the time. I always will.
Every. Single. Day.

4 comments:

  1. No matter how long you keep trying, people continue to say "try not to think about it". You are right, I think the ignorant are unaware of what we need to do to prepare to attempt to get pregnant. It's not just a quick root at the right time each month. We think about it every time we see a pram, a pregnant belly or when we see a 'Little Princess on Board' sticker on a car rear window.

    I'd like to give that advice to a bride to be, "just don't think about your wedding and it will just happen"!! Ha ha ha!

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  2. At my last ultrasound the tech oh so kindly suggested that the reason we are pregnant is because we just stopped worrying about it. Yah, that was it... geesh. thanks lady. I know she didn't mean to be rude, but sometimes if you haven't been there you should really just keep your mouth shut.

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  3. It is very natural to think about it all the time after what you have been through and go through on a daily basis. I try to remind myself that people who say such things really do not understand and do not mean to be insulting, they just do not know any better. And if they do, shame on them!! I wish people would be more considerate.

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  4. Very well said. It's like telling someone who has an ostrich perched on their nose, "not to think about it"! Ha! It's always there right in front of you, and sometimes painfully so.

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