Thursday, March 22, 2012

The Score

I would have lost the bet.

Dr. S. - 1      Katie - 0

She was exactly right. Exactly 5 days after my ultrasound I got my LH surge. I have never ovulated this early in a cycle before (CD 15). Even with my metformin/clomid IUI in 2009 it was CD 25. So as you can imagine I was happily surprised. Now let the waiting begin...

In other thoughts, I have been thinking about someone who touched my life without even knowing it. I met her for about three minutes back in September. I have no idea who she is and will never see her again, but I think about her often and wonder how she is doing. It was back at the Fertility Center and I had just finished my 2nd beta for the last pregnancy. When checking out at the desk the receptionist congratulated me on my pregnancy as now I was covered by insurance. I discreetly said thank you as I noticed a woman waiting in line about ten feet behind me. At that time I obviously did not know I would miscarry and felt bad having anyone still in the trenches of IF hearing about my success.
So fast forward to the parking garage as I am paying my ticket and the women in line behind me comes up and congratulates me as she overheard my discussion at the desk. Her eyes immediately filled with tears as she told me she just had her 3rd failed IVF attempt. She had no children. She asked if this was my first pregnancy and I told her "no actually my 4th but its a long story and I have a long road ahead of me". She said "I would give anything to be pregnant".  I told her I would pray for her - she looked like she had lost hope. I never thought I'd still be thinking of her today.

My heart broke for her. The look of desperation and such pure, raw sadness in her eyes is what I often think about. How this horrible disease has so many people under its spell. Its just not fair.
I think about if she kept going, if she tried again and if she will beat her battle. I wonder if she held on to any hope she had left as sometimes that four letter word likes to quickly leave our lives. I just want to scream it sometimes..ITS JUST NOT FAIR!

On that day back in September I didn't think I'd have lost that baby too. I didn't think that I'd once again be praying for a positive beta. I'm still holding on to my hope!

Onto my 2ww...


  1. Im here from ICLW:)

    Wow. I will wonder about her now too:) You are very strong. Best of luck in your continued journey.

  2. over from iclw. hope your 2ww ends positively and you have a long, long, boring pregnancy this time!

  3. It is amazing how others can make such an impact on our lives, even if for just a few minutes! I wish both you & the woman you met the best!! Fingers crossed!!

  4. I am so touched by certain people. It is interesting to see what or who really sticks with you.

    Your story is heart wrenching, I hope you are doing okay.

    Best wishes from ICLW

  5. I'm here from ICLW - best wishes to you!

  6. You have an amazing story. Thanks for the comments on my blog (even before ICLW!)

    Having suffered RPL as well I am in total agreement - we will do whatever we can, whatever it takes.

  7. Wow... just, wow. I am sorry for your losses. You have an amazing story. I hope this is the cycle for you.

  8. Hi,

    I'm a first time visitor through ICLW...sorry to hear about all you've been through, but hope it works out for you this time.

    Best wishes,