Monday, June 25, 2012

A Letter To My Ovaries

Dear Ovaries,

We sure do have a love/hate relationship, don't we?  When I see that smiley face pop up on the digital sticks and my temperature rise I want to jump with joy and hug you. That is such a great feeling, that you are working great and doing your job. Thank you for being there and for when you do send that egg reeling down my fallopian tubes.

But we need to have a little discussion.

I know you have been diagnosed as being polycystic. I can see for myself that little "string of pearls" on you that every doctor seems to point out. It seems to me that this has caused you two to be the laziest ovaries I have ever seen. I know you have been poked and prodded and worked to death in there but do you think you can speed things up a bit each month? Its CD 21 and still nothing. Back on CD 18 I went in to take a peek (thanks to another false lh surge) and only a 10 mm hanging out in you. What is the deal? I have even endured the hormonal wackiness and terrible night sweats of increasing my Clomid...and have been on lookout for the nearest bathroom ever since I went back on the Metformin for you. I also have been pushing the stroller every morning running 4 or so miles to try and get you to work better. Don't you feel the love?

I never thought in a million years I'd see this much of you (it sure is expensive to keep this up)...but I am going back again tomorrow to see if you've pulled some slack and produced any follicles worth triggering. Please please please start behaving so we can get the ball rolling.

...Then I can have a nice little discussion with my uterus...


  1. Oh god I know what you mean about love hate!! Over the last 18 months my bbt and opks have determined my mood on a day to day basis. Hope you're able to trigger soon, waiting is the pits. Haha love your last line...maybe I should try that :)

  2. Ok. May be overstepping bounds, but thought I'd share because I totally can relate to this!! So for about the first two years of TTC, no big diagnoses, save my OB telling me he thought I had PCOS, but "that's a garbage can diagnosis and should not really prevent you from getting pregnant with clomid."

    TWO FREAKING YEARS of clomid and finally, we went to our RE...who was outraged and said we needed to just go straight to IUI—those darned cycles were like 38-63 days apart (so, figure about 6-8 or so times a year and then a husband in the military? Yeah, talk about futility!) we did. Great first cycle. No pregnancy.

    Yes, he saw the string of pearls, and yes, my ovaries were polycystic, but we were covering bases to help that. So another IUI. Nothing. And another. NOTHING. Finally, he said, "I'm going in." Of the polycystic ovaries, one follicle looked a bit more 'real' cyst like and he used that as reasoning to go in and look around with laparoscopy.

    And found pretty significant endometriosis.

    Never had any symptoms. Never had ANY pain or anything. Nothing would have predicted that.

    Took it out, and voila!

    REGULAR cycles!!!! Like 27-28 days. EVERY.MONTH.

    Still polycystic ovaries, but more regular cycles and he felt he could do more with that. Sadly, three more IUIs and he said, "Friends, think you need IVF. There's more. There's gotta be more."

    And there was. Icky eqq quality. Only would have figured that out with IVF, of course, but my point in this soliloquy is to ask you whether or not the doctor's think there could be something else preventing a regular cycle? Obviously the PCOS does it, but sometimes, it's not just that.

    Hoping and praying this cycle gets the get-go and FAST!!!

    1. It's so frustrating, isn't it? I've have two hysteroscopies so I assume if they saw anything else they would have mentioned it. At this point I am so tired of tests I could scream! That is crazy you had no symptoms...thanks for the prayers...praying for you too!

  3. I am so sorry that your ovaries are not cooperating!! Wake up, ovaries, wake up!! Be nice and help the follies grow!!

  4. I am sorry your ovaries are not working with you... I know the feeling. Thank you for blogging, It always helps to hear other women struggle with the same issues...
    Hang in there...

  5. You show those ovaries who's boss!

    (But seriously, hope an egg drops soon. WTO is the worst.)

  6. New follower here. I'm so sorry for all that you have been through. Hope your ovaries are cooperating and that you can trigger!