Going Up?

You step in...the doors close behind you.
The numbers are all lit 1-40 and there is light music cascading through the air around you.
You are on an elevator headed to a very important meeting on the 40th floor...and you don't want to be late. You push 40 thinking it will be smooth sailing all the way up. The elevator starts going up and then it happens. The lights go out, the elevator stops and the doors open on the 14th floor. But you can't get out here...this isn't your final destination. The doors close and you head back to 1.
Well that must have been a fluke, right? All the other elevators seem to be working...bringing their passengers straight up to 40...what's the matter with this one?

Hmm you try again...this time the second you hit the 12th floor the music begins to get garbled and the elevator comes to a screeching halt. What do you do? Do you get out and say forget the meeting? No, you need to be there, you know how important it is.

This time you call the maintenance man...he checks everything out. "Elevators working fine Miss" he says. This ride is different. Your hearts racing a little faster, your looking for things wrong with your new elevator..and you frantically push 40 while shutting your eyes and wishing you could just zap straight to the top. Only you have no control over this elevator. 11th floor and its doors open wide forcing you to exit.
You have to start at the bottom...again...while watching all the other elevators bring passenger after passenger straight to 40.
How many times do you have to get back on and push 40 before the elevator takes you there?

Recurring Pregnancy Loss is like being stuck on an elevator while it dumps you off on random floors when you just desperately want to get to 40.

Looks like I'll be taking the stairs.