A Lesson In Colors

Things that are WHITE:

Milk

Clouds in the sky

Polar Bears

Santa's Beard

Vanilla Ice Cream

Ghosts

My Pregnancy Test This Morning

I couldn't even pretend there was a second line. Even if I bent it, held it next to the window, tore open the plastic or held it under a magnifying glass.

Month 3 of Clomid will begin soon, upping the dose and still waiting for that elusive second line.
I'm not gonna lie, I'm a little bummed.

629.81

629.81
The code that nobody wants.
The diagnostic code labeled on all my charts, all my paperwork, all my bills and insurance claims.
Habitual Aborter.
Whoever thought of that label for patients is cruel and I'd love just five minutes to ask them what the heck they were thinking when they decided to create that term when diagnosing someone. As if dealing doctors throwing around terms like "Recurring Fetal Demise" isn' bad enough you have the words "habitual aborter" thrown in your face and on all of your paperwork.
I could cross it out, dump white out over it, or try to delete it but it will always be there now.
What an ugly term for an ugly diagnosis.

Easter Bunny's Gift

My follicle scan this morning revealed that the Easter Bunny left me one nice looking 18 mm egg on my right ovary. I can feel it actually so I knew there was going to be something there. My lining looked thick and Doc said I will ovulate within the next two days. I could see the lh line starting to appear on my monitor sticks this morning too. Hopefully she is right again.  I will admit, to go from 45-60 day cycles to ovulating around 14 like regular women sure is nice! She also said I could switch from the Endometrium suppositories (costing us about 115 bucks for  3 weeks) to Prometrium suppositiores which will be nicer on the pocketbook. The Clomid was a lot easier to handle this month and I won an insurance battle over a $5,000 bill for my initial consult back in January. I'm on Spring Break and have a great weekend ahead with familiy for my cousin's wedding weekend. To sum it all up - Things are looking good!

Happy Spring!

Going Up?

You step in...the doors close behind you.
The numbers are all lit 1-40 and there is light music cascading through the air around you.
You are on an elevator headed to a very important meeting on the 40th floor...and you don't want to be late. You push 40 thinking it will be smooth sailing all the way up. The elevator starts going up and then it happens. The lights go out, the elevator stops and the doors open on the 14th floor. But you can't get out here...this isn't your final destination. The doors close and you head back to 1.
Well that must have been a fluke, right? All the other elevators seem to be working...bringing their passengers straight up to 40...what's the matter with this one?

Hmm you try again...this time the second you hit the 12th floor the music begins to get garbled and the elevator comes to a screeching halt. What do you do? Do you get out and say forget the meeting? No, you need to be there, you know how important it is.

This time you call the maintenance man...he checks everything out. "Elevators working fine Miss" he says. This ride is different. Your hearts racing a little faster, your looking for things wrong with your new elevator..and you frantically push 40 while shutting your eyes and wishing you could just zap straight to the top. Only you have no control over this elevator. 11th floor and its doors open wide forcing you to exit.
You have to start at the bottom...again...while watching all the other elevators bring passenger after passenger straight to 40.
How many times do you have to get back on and push 40 before the elevator takes you there?

Recurring Pregnancy Loss is like being stuck on an elevator while it dumps you off on random floors when you just desperately want to get to 40.

Looks like I'll be taking the stairs.