Four Complete Times

My husband and I were told these exact words by my doctor:

"If we would have waited until Tuesday she would have been dead".

I cannot imagine. Just simply cannot put into words what that would have done to me. Thank God for my Doctor and for the timing of everything.

Since 32 weeks I was having bi weekly NSTs and BPP ultrasounds. The last month of my pregnancy I seriously was over the edge with my anxiety. Scared to death of something happening. The fear NEVER left me. In fact, on Tuesday at my appt. I nearly had a breakdown, begging them to please deliver before anything went wrong...but she passed her tests and I was told everything was fine.

Friday the 12th came and it was time for another NST. Only thing this time she didn't pass. 20 minutes went by on the monitors...40 minutes...then an hour and no heart accelerations. They sent me over to the hospital for another lengthier NST to see if she really was just sleepy or if something else was going on.

38 weeks and 6 days pregnant. I had made it so far..how could something now be wrong? She didn't pass the NST there either, after being on the monitor for another half hour.

"Your Doctor is on his way to deliver this baby now"....

Thank GOD he did and that I had a c section. The cord was wrapped four complete times around her neck. He had never seen a cord wrapped so many times in the 25 years he has been delivering babies. I was told I was extremely lucky I went to my appt that day...that everything played out the way it did.

It really took me a few days to get over the shock and the fear of what could have happened. I laid awake shaking that entire night...but she is here.

Avery Eliana

"God answered"

The Post That Took Me 39 Weeks to Write

I have tried to come here and write this post countless times over the past ten months.

My fingers would freeze, I'd start to cry, and I'd shut the computer off.

That cycle back in October, the one where I went to my follicle scan, missed my ovulation and cancelled my IUI cycle?

I ate my doubtful words, because I became pregnant.

It has been 39 weeks filled with more anxiety than I ever thought possible, with the tiniest bit of excitment bubbling underneath the surface.

There were countless doctors appointments, about 20 something ultrasounds (each one with a good amount of tears both before and afterwards), 270 Lovenox injections, blood draws galore and one blessed and beyond scary delivery that I'll talk about later.

I literally never thought I'd be here. All the losses without answers left me empty and at times without hope. People had started telling me maybe I should just give up and live my life with Nora and be happy.

I'm glad I didn't give up. I hope no one gives up.

Avery Eliana was born July 12...healthy and happy and a perfect rainbow baby girl...